Todays thanksgiving...I have nothing to be thankful for, literally. Yea someone will say "THERES SOMETHING your thankful for" and truly im not am i supposed to be thankful for being mind fucked teenager whose sexually attracted to older boys? Am i supposed to be thankful that I cant even enjoy the little things in life without some sort of criticism and denomination

I miss when I was young...And the whole day was spent preparing the 'feast' and we sat down as a family and ate...even if I was actually part of the family. I'm in tears today because I dont even get a sit down dinner with my family. My so called family. Instead its all store bought shit cooked yesterday and re-heated today and its noon and everyones already ate except me because im waiting till around 5 to uphold my personal tradition of actually eating thanksgiving dinner AT dinner time.

I wish I could have adri and tristan and aleks(even though your mean) and conner and nicole and sabrina and lacey and D I would rather have them, my friends and a lot of other unmentioned friends sit down and eat dinner with me then my own family.

I can imagine growing up being an amazing doctor and spending the holidays off making an extravagant dinner sitting at the end of the table by myself pretending to be happy.

Today is a painful day...Tomorrow it will dull, ill continue to put on a happy face. While inside pieces of me tear themselves to smaller pieces and I'll chalk up another bottle to the pit of anger I dug, and the sea of tears I cry will raw the edges.

I have so much potential for love, so much passion. More understanding then you could imagine. But no one will see it because its buried under years of abuse and more pride to be the pillar that holds everyone else up whilst crumbling from the inside to become a hallow pillar of decay

I love my family so much, so much that I forgiven everything I was put through but its a lie because I dont forgive them not really I resent them I hate them I am the corrupt byproduct of their stupidity and ignorance that no matter how hard I try the memories of the past will never cease to haunt me. Because the past always come back always always always and when it does it hits you liek a brick to the skull.

/end rant that was primarily less about thanksgiving then i hoped ...meh...